There was a loyalist, a fenian and Claudia Schiffer

There was a loyalist, a fenian and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage on a train
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the loyalist were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Fenian had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The fenian was thinking: 'That loyalist fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'That fenian fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the loyalist and got slapped for it.'
And the loyalist was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that fenian bastard again.'